Mentioned as ‘female semen’ in the Kama Sutra, squirting has been around for a very long time but still seems shrouded in mystery. We decided to delve deep and uncover some facts from Lola Jean a sex educator and squirting World Record Holder.
What is squirting?
Earth-shattering, leg shaking, breathless, soaked, saturated and exhausting orgasm. That’s what you want to hear girls squirting is like, right?
Unless you’ve been living under a—presumably dry—rock, you’ve probably heard this thing called squirting. A hotly debated topic that, despite having barely any research on the matter, many claim to know quite a lot about the subject. And let me tell you, as the world record holder in volume squirting (solo) there’s nothing I love more than when people try to mansplain my body to me…
Porn and squirting
Like much of the world, you may acquaint yourself to squirting via porn. In erotica, squirting looks like this massive geyser of pleasure, expelling with such force it almost as if the orgasm is escaping their body. I get it, porn is a super accessible way to watch something. Search, point, click, squirt.
Let’s unpack that. Take it from someone who broke science “research” no porn can describe this bodily function accurately. Firstly, porn squirting is not the gold standard of squirting. Most people do not projectile squirt unless something has been blocking their vaginal canal. Some folx may trickle, leak, spurt or gush. It doesn’t matter. It all counts as squirt.
The Holy Grail of orgasms
Squirting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. “The Holy Grail of Orgasms” isn’t always linked to orgasm. In fact, squirting is often much easier and faster to achieve than an orgasm. But, is it as enjoyable? Similar to orgasm via one’s penis versus their prostate—or both simultaneously, they are different types of pleasure. That’s to say, some folx don’t enjoy the act of squirting while others revel in it. Most of the time, you may not even realize you squirted unless someone alerts you.
Porn gives the illusion that squirting is, in large part, due to whoever has their hand or member inside of the said vagina. Fake news. I challenge you to ask yourself why it is that you want to squirt. Why you want your partner to squirt. If it’s because it makes you feel special, important or because you really want your squirting merit badge perhaps you should reconsider your motives while also assessing that of your person’s. Ideally, both people should want to experience it.
And the person doing the squirting—shockingly—has more to do with it than you think. Yes, there is more to be done than “just relax.” You don’t make yourself squirt, you allow it to happen. I liken squirting to sexual applause; it lets you know you’re doing a good job.
Can all women squirt – the secret to squirting
Because bodies react differently, there isn’t one technique or one move that precedes the ejection of fluid. What may work for a lot of folx, doesn’t work for everyone. Some people only squirt via external clitoral stimulation while others prefer internal stimulation.
The key to squirting is less in a particular movement and more about the coordination of one’s pelvic floor. Don’t run out and buy those kegel weights just yet. It’s about coordination, not necessarily strength. So the relaxation and the pushing movement is just as important as the contraction. This is often why those who have given birth often find themselves able to squirt postpartum. Their body just changed. They were forced to have a relationship with their pelvic floor.
The other key to squirting is arousal. The more aroused and engorged we are, the more fluid that will build up within the sponges of the vaginal canal (the urethral sponge and perineal sponge.) G-Spot massage can be a wonderful way to stimulate all of these areas. That doesn’t mean banging away at the 12’o’clock point on your vagina. A G-Spot massage is a gradual, careful build-up akin to a body massage and it doesn’t just focus on that small area of the genitals. The perineal sponge—that’s 6’o’clock for those of us keeping time—is as important, if not more, than the G- Spot itself. For those too sensitive for that type of internal stimulation (read: a lot of us) you can access the G-Spot, which is part of the internal clitoris, with your pelvic muscles. At the point of peak engorgement, it’s more about figuring out how to get it out of your body.
But is squirting pee?
While this ejaculatory fluid is released from the urethra, the makeup of squirt fluid suggests there are only very small traces of actual urea and creatine that makeup urine. It contains other components like, PSA prostate-specific antigen—produced by the prostate in men and thought to be released from the skene’s gland into the urethra in women during the squirt. Studies using ultrasound to detect how full the bladder was on the build-up to squirt (after expelling urine previously) show that a rapid build-up of fluid happens very close to release during squirting.
But let’s be honest here…
I don’t care.
Do you care? Why do you care? You know what would be fun, though? If I questioned your bodily functions when they came out of your body! That would be fun,
right? …right. If you’re concerned what kind of fluids are coming out of someone’s body maybe you shouldn’t be fucking them. Unfortunately, squirting is a very difficult subject to study and research because a control doesn’t take into account if the person was able to squirt before. Often when a squirting “research study” is cited, many have microscopic samples sizes and questionable controls. Point being: science can’t tell us everything, my friend. You don’t have to like squirting but stop questioning, shaming, or projecting your own views on someone’s body—or what comes out of it.
Will I ever be able to squirt?
That’s a question that can only be answered for each individual with time, but I believe in you. I believe everyone with a vulva can squirt if they have a coordinated pelvic floor and relationship with their vagina. Maybe that happens tomorrow, maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years.
Whenever it happens, I hope it feels right for you. I hope you wanted it to happen. I hope you enjoyed it and if you didn’t—I hope you realise that you don’t have to. In the meantime, don’t sweat it. Our bodies all do different things that make other people jealous. So while you may be envious of my tedious and messy masturbation session, I’m jealous of your ability to derive pleasure from your nipples. Whether you drench the bed or not, your concern should always be concerned with pleasure and comfort, not crossing finish lines.
Can you learn how to squirt during sex?
Here are some tips to help you on your squirting journey
1 – Build a relationship with your pelvic floor, vagina and vulva
2 – Think about that clench and release action, the emphasis on release. We carry so much tension in our pelvic organs, try to relax and breath it out.
3 – Take the time to explore and see what feels good for your body—if you’ve squirted by accident in the past, or a partner used a particular technique that had you flooding the floor, try and recreate those feelings by yourself and be patient. It takes a high level of self intimacy and trust to let go and dig deep into your own pleasure.
4 – Try toys. The air suction toys on the market are well known to have some women and vulva owners squirting every time, but remember, it may take practice as relationships with different toys, as with your own body changes over time. What didn’t work a year ago, might just work now—you are an ever-evolving bundle of wonder. Some people might need hard G-spot stimulation and there are some beautiful toys out there angled to make that possible.
5 – Vulva massage. Great to practise with your partner.
6 – Enjoy the journey—squirting might not be part of your final destination and that’s ok—just take the time to embrace this self discovery and all the amazing things your body can do.
We’ve got some lovely films of women unexpectedly squirting during a shoot, including this one – Orgasm Surprise. As ever with FrolicMe films, the sexual orgasmic experiences shown on screen are all genuine and we endeavour to capture real moments of intimacy.
In 2014 the UK censorship board banned the portrayal of squirting in porn which was later overturned due to a public outcry over sexism. We are pleased we can now show these beautiful natural moments between a woman and her body without fear of being shamed for this natural pleasure response.
We thank Lola Jean for her openness and dedication to sexual education and fulfilment.
Lola Jean is a sex educator, mental health professional, wrestler, domme and world record holder for volume squirting (solo.) providing the no frills sex education we both need and deserve. Through both personal and professional experience, Lola brings a refreshing understanding to sex, sexuality and kink to push individuals past what they think they are capable of.